The Doctor's
by JadeDragonKnight
Summary: We've all felt that terrible, face-flushing feeling when we heard the phrase, "Time to see the doctor!" Meta Knight will soon have a reason to fear the words. Read the humorous tale of the doctor performing his "routine check-up" on our ill-fated knight.
1. Chapter 1

The Doctor's

By: JadeDragonKnight

Chapter 1

It was just another average day in Dream Land. The weather was rainy the last few days, but now the sun was shining and the plants and grass were luscious green from the much needed water. It was a lazy day for the villagers. In fact, the knights at the castle were taking a day off from their demanding training.

"Oh boy," Blade yawned, stretching as he walked down the hall, "What do you want to do today, Sword?"

"I don't know," Sword replied, walking next to him, "I guess whatever we can think of. Sir Meta Knight did give us the day off."

"Yeah, but all we ever do is train."

The two knights stopped for a moment in thought. Then they threw their heads down and sighed in defeat.

Blade lifted his head up and said, "Speaking of Meta Knight, did you see him anywhere?"

"Um," Sword mumbled, placing his hand on his chin, "Nope. I don't think he got up yet."

"Really? It's not like him to sleep in this late."

"Well, let's go see if he's still in bed."

Blade nodded and they went towards Meta Knight's room. Once they arrived, they stood at the door and Sword casually knocked on the door.

"My lord, are you awake yet?" Sword asked audibly.

"Yes," escaped the room, "come in."

They opened the door and walked in. They noticed Meta Knight was still sitting on top of his bed facing the door.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Just checking to see if you were awake," Blade informed.

"And what if I was asleep?" Meta Knight questioned.

Sword and Blade looked at each other doubtfully.

"Guess we didn't think about that…" Sword said.

"How come you haven't gotten up yet?" Blade asked.

"Um," he muttered, searching the ground for an answer, "I just feel a little…stiff."

"Oh? How so?" Sword asked.

"It's nothing really," Meta Knight reassured, "I guess I should get up."

The navy blue knight slid off the edge of his bed and walked a few steps. Suddenly, he froze, grasped his side and groaned loudly. His subordinates were stunned to see him in pain.

"My lord, are you alright?" Blade asked worryingly.

"It's nothing," he replied through gritted teeth, "It'll go away."

"When did this come up?" Sword asked.

"This morning," he struggled to answer.

"You need to check that out," Blade informed.

"I don't need a doctor," Meta Knight said, standing tall once more.

"Wait a second," Sword said, "are you afraid of the doctor's?"

"Of course not!"

"Oooh?" his subordinates slyly asked in unison.

Meta Knight paused for a second, then sighed and mumbled, "I just don't trust that quack…"

"Who, Dr. Yabui?" Blade asked.

"You don't have to be nervous about him, it's not like he's a mad scientist," Sword shrugged.

"I'm serious," Meta Knight argued, "I don't need a doctor!"

Suddenly, he stiffened then grabbed his side in pain and let out a long moan.

"Sword, get Dedede's car," Blade said.

"Way ahead of ya," Sword replied as he quickly left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

The Doctor's

By: JadeDragonKnight

Chapter 2

A few minutes later, the three knights entered the village and pulled up to the doctor's office. Blade and Sword supported Meta Knight under both his arms so he wouldn't collapse in pain.

"You do realize you're holding me against my will," Meta Knight stated.

"Oh knock it off," Blade replied.

"You're going to see Yabui whether you want to or not," Sword replied firmly.

They went into one of the rooms. It looked like a typical doctor's office. Yabui was waiting inside.

"Ah, you're here," he warmly greeted, taking up a glass filled with white liquid, "you must be tired. Have a drink."

The elder handed Meta Knight the glass and went to prepare the examination bed.

"We're tired…too," Sword tried to explain before he walked away.

Meta Knight quickly drank the beverage, set the glass aside, and sighed.

"Let's get this over with," he said as he hopped onto the paper covered bed.

Sword and Blade closed the door and stood next to the bed. Yabui looked through his endless files on his shelf for a moment.

"Well, I don't seem to have any medical records of you, Sir Meta Knight," he stated.

"Probably because I've only had one formal check-up in my life," the knight replied.

"Really?" Sword and Blade asked simultaneously.

"Well then," Yabui said, "We'll just have to start from scratch then."

"Is that really necessary," Meta Knight shrugged, "I just need you to check my-"

"Here," the doctor interrupted, shoving a clipboard and pen at him, "Fill this out."

The knight sighed and began filling out the medical information sheet. Meanwhile, Yabui went to a device on the wall and took a Velcro air strap from it. He came over and wrapped it around the knight's arm as he finished filling out the sheet. Yabui took the clipboard from him and went back to the device on the wall and took a little hand bump from it. He began to squeeze it repeatedly as he read over the paper. As he squeezed the pump, the Velcro strap on Meta Knight's arm got bigger.

"So," the doctor mumbled, "not allergic to anything, doesn't take any prescription medications…"

The band began to constrict Meta Knight's arm, but Yabui didn't seem to notice.

"Ow, uh Yabui, I think that's enough," the knight exclaimed.

"Huh, he didn't fill out the species column," the elder muttered to himself.

Meta Knight began to winch in pain from the squeezing air belt.

"Get this thing off me!" he shouted to his surprised subordinates.

Sword and Blade rushed over and took hold of the band. Then, they pulled as hard as they could while Meta Knight leaned back. Meanwhile, Yabui obliviously looked up at the device and stopped pumping for a second. A round meter on it with a quivering needle pointed to a certain number.

"Blood pressure seems normal," he concluded.

The lack of pumping let the air escape from the strap. Suddenly, the Velcro ripped and Sword and Blade went flying across the room. Meta Knight slammed back on the bed from the sudden force. Yabui looked questionably at the meter when it suddenly went to zero, unaware of the crashing sound behind him. The two knights let go of the band and it sprung back to the device on the wall. Yabui recorded the number and went to his desk to get something, while Sword and Blade collected themselves. Yabui came back with a small hammer.

"Now I have to test your reaction time," the doctor informed.

Meta Knight sat up with a hand rubbing his arm. The doctor looked questionably at his feet.

"You don't have any knees," he concluded.

"No one in this village does," the knight replied impatiently.

"Well," Yabui said, taking his arm, "We'll just have to use an alternative."

"Wha-"

Before he could finish, Yabui bumped the inner side of his elbow with the hammer. Immediately, Meta Knight's arm swung up and whacked him in the face.

"Ow!" the knight gasped as he grabbed his face in pain.

Sword and Blade tried to hold back a howling laughter. Yabui marked his reaction time as normal. Meta Knight rubbed his face with one hand and growled in anger.


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor's

By: JadeDragonKnight

Chapter 3

"Before you torture me anymore," Meta Knight stated, "would you _please _take a look at my-"

"Hold that thought," Yabui interrupted, looking at his watch, "It should be working by now."

"What should be working?" the knight asked as the doctor ran to the corner of the room to get something.

Suddenly, he threw something that looked like a giant vest at him. Meta Knight went to catch it, but got squashed underneath it.

"What the heck's in this thing, lead?" he gasped as he tried to sit up.

"Actually yes," Yabui stated.

The knight fell back on the bed when the doctor accidentally hit him in the head with what looked like some kind of giant scope. Yabui winched in sympathetic pain, then grabbed Sword and Blade and ran out the door. Outside the room, there was a switch on the wall. Yabui flipped it as the two knights looked at each other and shrugged. Then Yabui ran back inside and looked at a large monitor on the wall. Sword and Blade took the vest off their lord and moved the scope out of the way.

"What was that about?" Meta Knight asked.

"Ah, it developed quicker than I thought," Yabui exclaimed happily.

Meta Knight's subordinates looked at him. He silently gestured his head to go over and see what's going on. They went to the doctor's side and looked up at the screen.

"Hey cool, it's an x-ray shot," Blade explained.

"Which organ is that? The one that's glowing," Sword asked pointing.

"Oh, that's his liver," Yabui pointed out.

"That's not normal," Meta Knight concluded, wide-eyed.

"That's freaky," Blade added, "it's like neon green."

"Why is my liver glowing?" Meta Knight asked loudly.

"I got it to work!" Yabui exclaimed happily, "I just had it installed a few days ago too."

"Would someone please tell me…," Meta Knight paused for a second then shouted, "What did you do to my drink?"

"Wait, you're certified to take X-rays?" Sword asked.

"That's right," Yabui replied.

Meta Knight jumped up and grabbed the doctor's collar.

"Start explaining you quack!" Meta Knight shouted.

"Well now," Yabui replied, pushing up his glasses, "I simply put a little barium in your water so your organs would show up in the x-ray."

Meta Knight stared at him disbelievingly then shouted, "That's radioactive!"

"No need to fuss, the barium will harmlessly pass through your system, but your stool might glow a bit. Care to send back a sample?"

"No, I'm not sending you a sample!"

Just then, the pain in Meta Knight's side began to act up again. He let go of the doctor as Sword and Blade raced over to help him back onto the bed. Yabui calmly fixed his collar then snapped his fingers.

"Almost forgot to check your lungs," he said.

He pulled the Stethoscope hanging around his neck up to his ears and walked up to Meta Knight. He began placing the end at different places while the knight was breathing deeply. What he didn't notice was the knight was deep breathing to retain his anger. Sword and Blade looked at him with concern.

Blade leaned closer to Sword and muttered, "I'm a little worried about him."

"Yabui is just checking his lungs," Sword replied quietly.

"No, I'm worried Meta Knight might go berserk on him."

"Oh, good point."

"All done," the doctor informed.

He walked back to his desk to record his findings.

"Uh, my lord, are you going to be alright?" Blade asked.

"Yeah, I'm good," Meta Knight replied through gritted teeth.

Yabui went to the sink and began washing his hands.

"Sword, Blade," the doctor informed, "I'm going to have to ask you two to step outside for a minute."

They quickly looked at each other.

"They're not going anywhere without me," Meta Knight argued with his arms crossed.

Suddenly, he heard the door slam. He looked over to see an empty spot where his subordinates once were.

"Guys?"

"Alright, Meta Knight," Yabui said, drying off his hands, "I need you to stand in the middle of the room please."

The knight sighed and got off the bed slowly as to not upset his pain again.

"Now, you see that poster on the wall there?" the doctor asked, taking something from a box.

Meta Knight looked up to see a poster with letters on it, the same kind used at an eye doctor's office.

"Yeah," he replied, as if to ask 'so?'

"I need you to read the lowest line you can see on that poster," he replied, stretching the object from the box to a glove.

"My eyesight is fine doc," Meta Knight argued.

"Just making sure," Yabui said, snapping the glove on his hand.

The knight sighed and began to read, "P, N, L, Z, Q-"

He winched and his eyes grew wide.

Sword and Blade covered their ears when a scream escaped the room.

"Stop struggling," they heard the doctor say, "I'll only be a second."

Meta Knight continued to cry short yelps of discomfort.

"Wow, a surprise physical," Sword said.

"That's rough," Blade replied sympathetically.

"AH, it's cold!" Meta Knight exclaimed.


	4. Chapter 4

The Doctor's

By: JadeDragonKnight

Chapter 4

Meta Knight continued to shutter on the bed. Blade and Sword felt slightly ashamed for abandoning him.

Meta Knight looked over to them and pleaded lamely, "Don't leave me again."

Sword scratched his head and Blade tapped his fingers together.

"Ok, I have your results," Yabui said when he came over, "You're perfectly healthy."

"Everything down town was fine, thank you very much!" Meta Knight shouted.

"_Was?_" Sword whispered to Blade.

"I feel really bad now," he replied quietly.

"You're good to go," Yabui said, going to his desk and picking up a small bottle. "Here, I'm prescribing these pills to you."

The doctor tossed the bottle to Meta Knight, who caught it with one hand.

"Are they radioactive," Meta Knight asked rhetorically.

"Nope," Yabui replied, writing down the prescription, "They're just regular pain pills."

"Wait, did you just say 'pain pills'?" Meta Knight asked.

"Yes I did. They should help with that pain in your side. It's probably just an over worked muscle."

"Oh I get it," Sword explained, "he must have stretched it while we were training yesterday."

"That explains it," Blade agreed.

Meta Knight's eye was twitching from anger.

"You_ knew_?" he said with a raising tone.

"Why yes," Yabui replied, facing him, "Around the time you got here."

Meta Knight glared at him for a moment.

"Blade, Sword," he said, without taking his eyes off the doctor.

"Yes my lord?" they asked in unison.

"Hold me back."

Suddenly, he jumped off the bed and lunged at Yabui. The two knights quickly grabbed him before he could reach the elder.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Meta Knight shouted angrily.

"I appreciate your cooperation," Yabui said happily, "don't forget to take the pills."

"How would you like it if I shoved something cold up your- GAH!"

Meta Knight winched and clutched his side in agony. Sword and Blade seized this opportunity to get him away from the doctor.

"Thanks a lot doc," Sword said quickly as he dragged his master out the door.

"Yeah, you were a big help," Blade added.

"My pleasure boys," Yabui replied, placed a hand on the door, "remember to come back in another six months."

With that note, he shut the door and the two knights were able to drag Meta Knight home.


	5. Chapter 5

The Doctor's

By: JadeDragonKnight

Chapter 5

A few hours later, things seemed normal again. Someone was in the bathroom. Suddenly, an ominous green glow shone from under the door.

"WAH…oh yeah."

The sound of a toilet flushing escaped the room. The light disappeared and Meta Knight emerged from the restroom.

"_Send me back a sample. _Humph, quack," he muttered to himself as he walked down the hall.


End file.
